Show Notes

Amplify Your Authority
Amplify Your Authority
Episode #65 Reducing the Mortality Rate through Patient Advocacy
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caregiving

As marketers, we understand that connection and relationships help build a healthy business.

But more importantly, we can help reduce the mortality rate of loved ones recovering from a health crisis.

In this week’s podcast, guest Steve Reiter, founder of the NEVER Alone Project, will discuss why screened family members are the best option for hospitalized family members.

In this episode, you’ll discover:

  • Why mentors play a critical role in our lives.
  • How an emotional support system improves our quality of life.
  • What trauma and tragedy can teach us about prevention.
  • Why it’s essential to become your loved one’s advocate.
  • How self-care will help you get through challenging times.

 

The power of connection should never be underestimated because it could improve the quality of care and speed of recovery during a medical crisis.

 

Takeaways

  • The COVID pandemic showed us the importance of having one screened patient advocate per day with no time limits to be with hospitalized loved ones.
  • With all the responsibilities given to our hospital staff, becoming the emotional support system for patients is unrealistic and challenging.
  • The NEVER Alone Project aims to create legislative change by mobilizing a community to raise awareness about providing an advocate  for patients during extended hospital stays.
  • Patient advocates can raise concerns for the patient to the medical staff during hospital stays and provide much-needed emotional support for the patient.
  • Better legislation for patient rights and a clearer understanding of patient rights are needed.
  • As an entrepreneur, taking care of your emotional, mental, spiritual, and physical health is essential. It makes life easier when life throws you curve balls.
  • We need to carve out time to care for ourselves. Out of that overflow and abundance, it’s easier to care for our families, friends, business, and those around us.

 

About Steve Reiter

Steve Reiter Steve Reiter is a 25-year internationally syndicated broadcasting professional.

He spent 12+ years working on the internationally syndicated radio show, Focus on the Family, where he was overseeing the production team in 2008 when FOTF was inducted into the National Radio Hall of Fame (beating out Howard Stern, Bob Costas, and Dr. Laura).

He left his award-winning stint in 2010 to help spearhead what ended up being the largest rollout in radio history at Dr. James Dobson’s Family Talk, where he was the 2nd employee Dr. Dobson hired. Within 2 years of leaving Family Talk, Steve co-founded the Eternal Leadership podcast, which was named a Top 12 Podcast To Listen To If You Want To Become A Better Leader by Inc Magazine. It was also named a Top 100 Leadership Blog by Feedspot two years in a row.

Armed with those 21+ years of experience, he brings a unique perspective to the podcasting space. With StrengthsFinder Top 5 strengths like Ideation, Strategic Thinking, Positivity, Adaptability, and Activator for his StrengthsFinder Top 5, you’ll get fresh ideas that work for you and someone to help positively navigate the inevitable curveballs that come your way in the execution of that vision.

Most recently, he founded the nonprofit, The NEVER Alone Project. Born out of the forced isolation his 40-year-old wife was forced to endure when she was hospitalized in April & May 2020 (not COVID related) and her subsequent death after 21 days, he created The NEVER Alone Project to address the critical issue of the importance of advocates and loved ones in the lives of anyone facing some kind of medical appointment, procedure, stay, etc. They aim to codify in national law the patient’s right to at least one screened visitor per day with no time limits.

Do good, be awesome!

 

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Marisa Shadrick:
Hello, everyone. How are you doing? Marisa Shadrick here, and I’ve got a very special guest with me today. And I wanna tell you just a little bit about him. He’s gonna share a little bit more. But I have Steve Reiter with me today. And Steve Reiter is a 25 year internationally syndicated broadcasting professional. He spent 12 plus years working on the internationally syndicated radio show, Focus on the Family, overseeing the production team when Focus on the Family launched into the national radio Hall of Fame, beating out Howard Stern, Bob Costas, and Dr. Laura. He also helped spearhead what ended up being the largest rollout in radio history at Dr. Dobson’s Family Talk where he was the second employee Dr. Dobson hired. So let me welcome Steve Reiter. Hi, Steve. How are you doing?

Steve Reiter:
Marisa, I love you so much. Thank you so much for-

Marisa Shadrick:
(laughs) It’s so great to have you. It’s great.

Steve Reiter:
Oh.

Marisa Shadrick:
It was nice that Steve and I met at a conference. And I’d-

Steve Reiter:
Yeah, over in Nashville.

Marisa Shadrick:
Yeah, in Nashville. And, um, I heard just a little bit about his story, and I thought it would be great to bring him on the podcast. And I think everyone will be able to relate to parts of the, the story and also find encouragement and, and realize that we’re not alone in this entrepreneurial journey. When we’re trying to navigate life and work, it can be complicated at times. So Steve, for those people that don’t know you very well, do you wanna add a little bit about your background, some of the things that, that you’ve done in the past just to give ’em a little bit more context?

Steve Reiter:
Yeah. I’m, I’m fortunate in that during a crisis, I guess, in college, um, I was trying to get into the Sports Medicine Department at the University of Wisconsin-La Crosse. And because a few weeks before I got to school, they sent me a letter saying, “You don’t have a dorm.” I had to find an apartment and then start working to pay for that apartment, and so I wasn’t able to volunteer in the Sports Medicine Department like I needed to in order to get in.
And when they gave me that rejection letter, uh, right during finals week I got walking pneumonia and I was just burned out with school, and so I took some time off. And it was during that time that I remembered some instances in my life, like being in 4th grade, my uncle bought my brothers and I a Fisher Price cassette recorder, and I used to make radio shows with my friends.

Marisa Shadrick:
(laughs).

Steve Reiter:
And, and the funny thing is a friend of mine I’ve known my entire life… And I mean my entire life, I mean, he’s… I’m two weeks older than him, and his aunt used to babysit us when we were infants.

Marisa Shadrick:
Oh.

Steve Reiter:
So I’ve known Phil my entire life. And I was at his sign shop in downtown Chicago. He hand paints signs. He’s one of the few hand painting sign makers in, in the Chicago area for grocery stores and that kinda stuff. And we were hanging out at his shop, and he was like, “Hey, do you remember when… I think it’s funny you’re in radio ’cause do you remember when we were kids and we used to make radio shows in your backyard?” 6th grade, I hosted a kids news segment at a local radio station, and in my senior year of high school, uh, we were working on a radio spot for the morning announcements as kind of a project for one my classes. And someone I knew since the first grade, she looked at me, she said, “Steve, I’ve never seen you smile like this before.”

Marisa Shadrick:
Wow.

Steve Reiter:
And I remember those three instances. I was like, radio, recording.

Marisa Shadrick:
Yeah.

Steve Reiter:
Yeah. I think, I think I… that might be a good move for me.

Marisa Shadrick:
Yeah.

Steve Reiter:
And so I went and I focused on the studio recording part in school, and then I interned at a local radio station so that way I’d get the, get both.

Marisa Shadrick:
Mm-hmm.

Steve Reiter:
That way, I’d be able to have the expertise to get into a studio environment if I wanted to move into post-production or I wanted to move into a recording studio or something like that. I had dreams of going to Nashville or to New York or LA or… My dream was Skywalker Sound. I was a Star Wars nerd growing up, and so to work for-

Marisa Shadrick:
(laughs).

Steve Reiter:
… Skywalker Sound, the preeminent sound design studio in the world was, like, that’s where I wanted to go. And I was dating a girl my last year of school, and, uh, her parents lived here in Colorado Springs. And I came out to meet the parents and fell in love with the town. And they were, like, “Focus on the Family is here.” And I was like, “Focus on the Fa… Focus on the Family. Dr. Dobson.” I remember Dr. Dobson; my mom listened to Dr. Dobson all the time when she would make dinner, when she’d drag my ass to church and those kinds of things. And so… And Doc also had, like, a, a bulletin thing in the, little column in the, in the church bulletin, and so I’d read that because my pastor was painfully boring growing up.

Marisa Shadrick:
(laughs).

Steve Reiter:
So I, I always had great respect for Doc. And-

Marisa Shadrick:
Yeah.

Steve Reiter:
… uh, yeah, it was, it was me just putting my foot in the door.

Marisa Shadrick:
Yeah. That’s great.

Steve Reiter:
Out here, that got, that got me going.

Marisa Shadrick:
That’s great that you knew early on that that’s what you wanted to do. Not every… That doesn’t happen to everyone.

Steve Reiter:
No.

Marisa Shadrick:
Plus, it doesn’t hurt that you have a radio voice either.

Steve Reiter:
(laughs) I was on the production side.

Marisa Shadrick:
(laughs).

Steve Reiter:
I was rarely in front of the microphone. Usually I’d get pulled into-

Marisa Shadrick:
But you did do podcasting later (laughs).

Steve Reiter:
Yeah, I did. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I, I, I, I’d do some occasional character voices for some, for some image spots or, um, uh, Doc had me on the broadcast a couple of times to talk about some of the stuff that we had done. But-

Marisa Shadrick:
Yeah.

Steve Reiter:
Yeah.

Marisa Shadrick:
I remember Dr. Dobson. I listened to him ’cause radio was big. I mean, that’s what we-

Steve Reiter:
It was king.

Marisa Shadrick:
Yeah, it was. And I remember-

Steve Reiter:
Eh-

Marisa Shadrick:
… he came on early in the morning, and I was glued to him. Yeah.

Steve Reiter:
So, so the story of Focus on the Family is Doc had written his book, Dare to Discipline.

Marisa Shadrick:
Mm-hmm.

Steve Reiter:
He was working at USC School of Medicine and Children’s Hospital, Los Angeles, and, as a chi, as a child psychologist.

Marisa Shadrick:
Mm-hmm.

Steve Reiter:
And he would go and do these conferences and speak. And his dad basically cornered him and said, “You’re traveling so much and you’re working so much, I fear you’re gonna lose your family. And you, you need to think about a way to get your message out to more people.” And Doc had two opportunities; he had TV and he had radio. And everyone around him that was praying for him sa… And, and, and Doc as well felt like radio was it for some reason. Even though TV was more glamorous-

Marisa Shadrick:
Mm-hmm.

Steve Reiter:
… even though it was, you know, kind of a bigger production, um, it really worked out well because, because Doc has such a unique voice.

Marisa Shadrick:
Mm-hmm.

Steve Reiter:
There was one time we were, we were at a restaurant in Nashville, Tennessee. We had just got done recording. We sat down, and the lunch crowd had left, and this couple heard his voice a few tables away. His back was turned so they couldn’t see his face-

Marisa Shadrick:
Yeah.

Steve Reiter:
… and they immediately got up and started weeping about how Focus had impacted their life, and they had a special needs child, and the resources that we had sent them, and this and that. And, uh, it, it was something that being in my position as the chief audio engineer, it gave me, uh, a special access to Doc that very few people who were on the ministry had. And because I would travel with him often when we would do recordings, and we’d, you know, go to lunch or go to dinner and those kinds of things, it, it… I got to see the man. And he’s, he’s, he’s, he’s an amazing human being.

Marisa Shadrick:
Yeah, yeah.

Steve Reiter:
He’s an amazing human being. And, and people would ask me, “You know, is Doc the same off mic as he is on mic?” And he is. I mean, my favorite story I love to tell, super quick.

Marisa Shadrick:
Mm-hmm.

Steve Reiter:
We were in Palm Desert, California; we’d just got done recording for the day. He has a small two bedroom condo in Palm Desert, so we were out there recording because he was out there relaxing. And we were at a Mexican restaurant, and then we were going to go get frozen yogurt afterwards. And John Fuller, the VP of broadcasting and I walked out. We had our car and Doc and Shirley had their car. Doc… Shirley said she wanted to say hi to someone, so I peeled off to go to the restroom and then meet John at the car. And when I walked out, Doc and Shirley were about 10, 15 yards in front of me, and they were holding hands.

Marisa Shadrick:
Oh.

Steve Reiter:
Here’s a couple that have been married 48 years… 47, 48 years at that time, and I saw the way in which they loved each other. I saw the way that Doc would stop everything for a call for one of his kids or, or Shirley.

Marisa Shadrick:
Yeah. Yeah.

Steve Reiter:
And, yeah, it, it-

Marisa Shadrick:
That’s interesting, ’cause even early on, you said it was his dad who says, you know, “If you keep doing this, you know, what’s gonna happen to your family?” There’s that tension of work and your personal life.

Steve Reiter:
Yes.

Marisa Shadrick:
And it worked out so well for him to, to be able to do that and get his message out using radio.

Steve Reiter:
And he never took a salary from Focus.

Marisa Shadrick:
Wow.

Steve Reiter:
He never. He was a volunteer.

Marisa Shadrick:
I didn’t know that.

Steve Reiter:
Never took a salary from Focus. All his money was made from his books and his speaking.

Marisa Shadrick:
Wow, amazing.

Steve Reiter:
And he made really good income doing that.

Marisa Shadrick:
Mm-hmm.

Steve Reiter:
And so yeah, it, it was, it’s something that he is-

Marisa Shadrick:
Yeah.

Steve Reiter:
He’s a very… He, he, he… In my opinion, probably the most important and influential evangelical leader of the last-

Marisa Shadrick:
Mm-hmm.

Steve Reiter:
.. 35 years, 40 years.

Marisa Shadrick:
Oh yeah, oh yeah.

Steve Reiter:
Because as Billy Graham started to wind down his, his ministry and Jerry Falwell kind of started to wind down a little bit, Doc just came in and became the evangelical pope, if you will.

Marisa Shadrick:
Mm-hmm. And correct me if I’m wrong, but didn’t his wife, Shirley, also lead, like, national day-

Steve Reiter:
Ran the National Day of Prayer.

Marisa Shadrick:
Yeah. I thought so, yeah. I thought so.

Steve Reiter:
NDP.

Marisa Shadrick:
Mm-hmm. Yeah.

Steve Reiter:
Yeah.

Marisa Shadrick:
It-

Steve Reiter:
She-

Marisa Shadrick:
They were a powerful couple. And I still remember Dr. Dobson ’cause when my kids were little… And I was glued because he had so much wisdom. And I just wanted to raise them right. And, and I didn’t know anything about parenting. I didn’t have family nearby, and so I would-

Steve Reiter:
Yeah.

Marisa Shadrick:
… never miss a, I would never miss it. I’d have that radio on 5:00 in the morning. It’s awesome. So how did things, uh, evolve for you?

Steve Reiter:
Yeah, so, um, I just started working my way up through the ranks at Focus. And the point at which I… I, I guess I should say the point at which I decided I wanted to stay.

Marisa Shadrick:
Mm-hmm.

Steve Reiter:
Because six weeks after I moved here, the girl that I moved out here for met another guy back at school and dumped me. And so this is the last place in the world I wanted to be.

Marisa Shadrick:
Mm-hmm.

Steve Reiter:
Yeah, yeah, it’s, it’s the king of Christian radio, but, I mean, let’s be honest; Christian radio and then, you know, terrestrial radio, general market radio, they’re two completely different levels.

Marisa Shadrick:
Yeah.

Steve Reiter:
And while Focus was on par with anything that was out there in terms of general market radio, um, I, I wanted to go to Skywalker, I wanted to got to Los Angeles, I wanted to go to Nashville or New York and-

Marisa Shadrick:
Mm-hmm.

Steve Reiter:
… work at a post-production house and work on TV shows and get more into sound design and sound engineering and, uh, fully and that kinda stuff. But every time I would try and move in that direction the, those doors closed. And it, it got to a crisis point where my VP at Focus and I were starting to have some tension, the VP of broadcasting, uh, Mike Trout, who’s since become a really, really dear mentor and friend.

Marisa Shadrick:
Mm-hmm.

Steve Reiter:
But his last couple years at Focus, I felt like I was in his cross-hairs; I could do no, nothing right. And so I was gonna even move back to Wisconsin, but even those doors kept closing. And so the point at which I decided… When those doors kept closing, I was praying about it, and I really felt like God said, “I got you here for a reason.”

Marisa Shadrick:
Mm-hmm.

Steve Reiter:
And I was like, “All right, I’m just gonna bust my tail and I’m gonna outwork everyone.” And I just start… And then I started leap frogging guys at Focus left and right.

Marisa Shadrick:
Wow.

Steve Reiter:
And I beat out a guy that had I think 12 years seniority over me to manage the production team for the daily broadcast. And he left, and that opened up the chief audio engineer position, and so I moved into that as well. And, uh, that’s, that’s when things really just took off. I mean, we were inducted into the Radio Hall of Fame in 2008, as you said. And, uh-

Marisa Shadrick:
Wow.

Steve Reiter:
… things, things were just… It was, it was incredible. It was an incredible run.

Marisa Shadrick:
Mm-hmm.

Steve Reiter:
And, uh, I’m, I’m so grateful for, for that foundation. Eh, and foundation not only of the commitment to excellence-

Marisa Shadrick:
Mm-hmm.

Steve Reiter:
… that, that was modeled for me. And, and, and I tried to match or even exceed that. But also just the incredible men and women that were in the broadcasting division that mentored me-

Marisa Shadrick:
Mm-hmm.

Steve Reiter:
… that discipled me, that took me under their wing and had me come over for Thanksgiving when I wasn’t going back for Thanksgiving, or come over for Christmas when I was wasn’t going back to Wisconsin for Christmas and just included me. And, yeah, I, yeah, I-

Marisa Shadrick:
What a wonderful experience.

Steve Reiter:
It, it, it was.

Marisa Shadrick:
And he… It impacted your life in such a, such a way, a lasting impact in a positive way. That’s awesome.

Steve Reiter:
I got a PhD in family and child-rearing and marriage just from listening to the broadcast every single day.

Marisa Shadrick:
Yeah, I bet.

Steve Reiter:
I really did. I, I mean, we, we would be around these incredible thinkers and… And also during the time that, you know, the workload was a little bit lower, we’d sit in each other’s offices and talk theology. Okay, I… ‘Cause I worked with every denomination under the sun.

Marisa Shadrick:
Yeah.

Steve Reiter:
And I’d sit in, in an office, I’d be like, “Okay, tell me what you believe about this. Yeah, I don’t know if I necessarily agree with that, but you just challenged me, and I know you and I love you, and so you’ve given me something really to think about.” And it really showed me just the, the vastness of the kingdom-

Marisa Shadrick:
Yeah. Yeah.

Steve Reiter:
… of God and, and, uh, how, how all of us just bring a whole different flavor into, into this big stew that God’s, God’s-

Marisa Shadrick:
Mm-hmm.

Steve Reiter:
… preparing.

Marisa Shadrick:
Absolutely. And, you know, and I think all of us, in a small way, have an opportunity online not at all… It’s a small… It’s a, it’s an opportunity to plant seeds, you know? In whatever it is that we do, entrepreneurs that maybe have, do live streams or they do a podcast and just the way they conduct themselves and just their perspectives, I think it could be a positive influence all across the world, ’cause you never know who’s gonna listen to it. We have this opportunity of the internet. And people think, well, you’re so idealistic. I said, “But it’s the internet. You know, we have a responsibility. And if we can bring a healthy perspective, then why not?” You know? And all of us… If everyone did that, you know, we would be depositing these wonderful seeds that you never know what could happen. So maybe it’s idealistic, but I think it’s an opportunity for all of us that are entrepreneurs and we’re using the internet to live stream or do podcasts or whatever it might be.

Steve Reiter:
I agree. Yeah.

Marisa Shadrick:
Yeah. So, uh, you were still single then because they were, like, bringing you over Thanksgiving, and then Christmas.

Steve Reiter:
Yeah.

Marisa Shadrick:
And so how did you end up getting married?

Steve Reiter:
Yeah. So, um, in 2000, Focus lent me, lent me to Billy Graham to help-

Marisa Shadrick:
Oh.

Steve Reiter:
… uh, help record the Amsterdam 2000 Conference. And I spent a month in Amsterdam and then took an, took some extra time, I think it was about a week and a half off and toured around Italy. And when I came back… I, I had just done some counseling at Focus through some of the counselors, and I was feeling really comf- comfortable with who I was, where I was in life, where I was going. And when I got back, I saw this ad in my Yahoo-

Marisa Shadrick:
(laughs).

Steve Reiter:
… email, one of those little banner ads for a, for a dating site. And I was like, “Ah, what the heck? I’m feeling really good right now; let’s just give this a try.” And, uh, there was one in particular that… No picture. All it said was, “Christian girl looking to hang out with a Christian guy.” And I was like, “Well, chances are it’s not gonna turn out to be anything, but who knows?” So we had a couple conversations, couple a email back and forth, and then we had a phone conversation, and then she sent me a picture. And I was smitten, to say the least. Um, yeah, it, it, it-

Marisa Shadrick:
Oh, no.

Steve Reiter:
The ama, the amazing thing is I almost ended it after our third date.

Marisa Shadrick:
Really?

Steve Reiter:
I almost did ’cause… Yeah, I, I went over to a friend’s house, a former colleague of mine at Focus who was a morning TV anchor now in Denver. Now he’s in Philly, working in Philly. But I spent the night at his place after, after one of those dates ’cause Elizabeth and I had place the next day to go to church with her grandma, go out to lunch with her grandma, and then for us to go back to her place and just… She, she was a big baseball fan, and so playoff baseball was going on so we were gonna watch some baseball and some football. And, uh, I told Tommy, I was like, “Tommy, I’m not, I’m just not feeling this. I’m not feeling, I’m not feeling any real chemistry, I’m not…” He, he looked at me, he’s like, “Dude, it’s 10:30 at night, you’re not gonna cancel the next morning at 10:30 at night. Don’t be a chump. That’s chump move.”

Marisa Shadrick:
Yeah.

Steve Reiter:
“All right.” “Just go to church, then lunch. And if you’re still not feeling it, just end it right there.” “All right.” Well, needless to say, while we were on her couch watch… I remember Roger Clemens was pitching for the Yankees against the Mariners and, uh, we were talking, we hit this level, and I just… The thought hit me, this is the girl I’m gonna marry. This is the girl I’m gonna marry.

Marisa Shadrick:
Wow. What a turnaround (laughs).

Steve Reiter:
Yeah, I know. Yeah.

Marisa Shadrick:
Wow.

Steve Reiter:
Less than 24 hours.

Marisa Shadrick:
Amazing.

Steve Reiter:
And so… Yeah. and so, yeah, with, within a year… A year and three days from our first date, we were married.

Marisa Shadrick:
Amazing.

Steve Reiter:
And, uh, yeah, it, it’s… She was the most incredibly im… She was the most emotionally intelligent human being that I’ve ever met. And, uh-

Marisa Shadrick:
So how did you, how did you juggle work? And then after you got married with her, was there… Were, were you, like, heeding Dr. Dobson’s words? And, like, was that coming back to you? Like, how do do that so that you manage that? ‘Cause that’s a big sticky point for everyone.

Steve Reiter:
Ye- ye- yes, yes and no. Um, yes when I was present, I was trying to be present-

Marisa Shadrick:
Mm-hmm.

Steve Reiter:
… because quality time was her number one love language.

Marisa Shadrick:
Mm-hmm.

Steve Reiter:
But at the same time, though, I was also coaching high school football at the time, which is almost another full-time job.

Marisa Shadrick:
Oh.

Steve Reiter:
And so I was getting this desire filled for influencing these young men and being back in competitive sports and also working full-time, and so, yeah, it, it was something that I don’t regret, but at the same time, though, I think I probably would’ve done it differently. I don’t think I would’ve coached building a house, buying a house, getting married all within, you know-

Marisa Shadrick:
Yeah.

Steve Reiter:
… within, within a year’s time.

Marisa Shadrick:
We learn, right? It’d be great if we had all the wisdom ahead of time.

Steve Reiter:
Yeah, yeah.

Marisa Shadrick:
But the, the good thing is is as we learn when we course correct, I mean, that’s, that’s what we all do. And if we’re all trying to-

Steve Reiter:
Yeah.

Marisa Shadrick:
… do that and honor the other person as best as we can and course correct, we’re not always going to start doing it perfectly-

Steve Reiter:
Yeah.

Marisa Shadrick:
… but we can always adjust things.

Steve Reiter:
She, she ended up being a real supporter of, of coaching.

Marisa Shadrick:
Mm-hmm.

Steve Reiter:
Because she really started to get involved with the other coaches’ wives and being involved in the program in that way. And so I coached three years and then got her pregnant. And I was like, “All right, I’m done, I’m done. I’m not going to… You’re gonna…” She’s gonna need me a lot more-

Marisa Shadrick:
Mm-hmm.

Steve Reiter:
… and so, yeah, I’m, I’m done. And my head coach was like, “Hey, listen, she’s not due to give birth until after the season. Um, if you want, I can leave a position open for you.” And I was like, “No, don’t worry about it, don’t worry about it.” Well, about a month or two later, he reached back out, and he was like, “I wasn’t able to fill it.” And Elizabeth apparently started chirping on me too, “Hey, you really should consider finishing this one out because you saw those kids come in as freshmen, you really should see them go out as seniors. I think this could be a really special year for you guys.” And I was like, “Are you sure? Are you really sure?” And she was, she was 100% behind it.
And it was the most successful, uh, season in, in the school’s history. The school had never been a winner, we busted our tails to try and turn them around to a winner, and we started to really establish that foundation that, that the school needed to where three years after we had left, they played in the state championship game because of a lot of those kids that we had developed from elementary school, junior high by establishing those, those, those younger programs. But it was an incredible, it was an incredible year. And, uh, yeah, I, I’m, I’m so grateful that, that she was such a supporter of it, those last-

Marisa Shadrick:
Yeah.

Steve Reiter:
… couple years.

Marisa Shadrick:
Yeah. That’s awesome. So how many kids do you have?

Steve Reiter:
We have two boys, we have two boys.

Marisa Shadrick:
Two boys.

Steve Reiter:
Matthew, Matthew is 18 and then, uh, Caleb is 16. And with Matthew, um… So, so when she found out she was pregnant, she was… The day she found out she was pregnant, she was also diagnosed with Lupus. And her rheumatologist said, “This kind of Lupus is gonna be really dangerous for you because you have this anti-antiphospholipid antibody, and it’s going to be a significant health risk being pregnant. You’re gonna have pregnancy-induced hypertension, you’re at significant ram… uh, you’re significant risk for preeclampsia, those kinds of issues. And so I recommend an abortion,” is what he said. And Elizabeth’s like, “Nope. No.

Marisa Shadrick:
Yeah.

Steve Reiter:
“Not gonna listen to you.” And so, um, sure enough, that’s the way it played, it played out. Uh, I had to give her blood thinner shots on a daily basis. She was on bed rest a bunch. And, uh, numerous ER visits with crazy high blood pressure. And, uh, eh, on, eh, late October, during the season, um, she ended up being hospitalized; they ended up hospitalizing her because the, the blood pressure was just too crazy. They really wanted to get that managed.

Marisa Shadrick:
Mm-hmm.

Steve Reiter:
And on October 30th, as she was kind of starting to wind down and get ready to come back home, she started bleeding. Nurse came in and looked for the ha… Matthew’s heartbeat and couldn’t find it and then realized, oh, the bleeding plus his heart rate has slowed down to the same as Elizabeth’s. The placenta’s abrupting; we need to do an emergency C-section.

Marisa Shadrick:
Right. Wow.

Steve Reiter:
And when sh- she went in, it was so fast they didn’t have time for me to scrub in so I watched from the scrub-in area them pull Matthew out-

Marisa Shadrick:
Mm-hmm.

Steve Reiter:
… and then went with Matthew. And my head coach’s wife, Tracy, who was one of Elizabeth’s closest friends-

Marisa Shadrick:
Mm-hmm.

Steve Reiter:
… um, she went with Elizabeth and, and was there with Elizabeth when she came… when she woke.

Marisa Shadrick:
Mm-hmm.

Steve Reiter:
And when Elizabeth woke, the first thing that she said was, “I’m not supposed to be here.” There… Eh… The doctor came to me and said, uh, right around… right before I had found out that she had said this, he came to me, “It got really hairy in there. She lost a lotta blood. We got her stable now; everything’s good.” And so that planted in me that this could be my journey.

Marisa Shadrick:
Mm-hmm.

Steve Reiter:
And so any time I would work on a broadcast that talked about l… you know, grief or losing a spouse, there was something in my spirit that would just perk up and say, “Pay attention.”

Marisa Shadrick:
Mm-hmm.

Steve Reiter:
You need to, you need to pay attention to this.

Marisa Shadrick:
Yeah. Yeah.

Steve Reiter:
And-

Marisa Shadrick:
And how was the baby after all of that?

Steve Reiter:
Matthew was nine weeks early, three pounds 10 ounces, in the NICU for a good five weeks, I think. I think he was in the NICU for five weeks and came home with oxygen. You wouldn’t tell it-

Marisa Shadrick:
(laughs).

Steve Reiter:
… from looking at him now.

Marisa Shadrick:
I bet.

Steve Reiter:
He’s almost 6’4″. He’s, he’s a couple inches taller than me. He’s just a strong, strapping kid and-

Marisa Shadrick:
That’s awesome.

Steve Reiter:
Yeah. And then we weren’t gonna have anymore kids, and so she was on the pill while I saved up for a vasectomy, and, uh, and, uh, slipped one past the goalie.

Marisa Shadrick:
(laughs).

Steve Reiter:
And she got pregnant, got her pregnant.

Marisa Shadrick:
You didn’t save up fast enough. Okay.

Steve Reiter:
Yeah. Yeah.

Marisa Shadrick:
Bet you’re glad you didn’t (laughs).

Steve Reiter:
But without question… ‘Cause Elizabeth and I joked ha, all the time, “Our lives would be so boring without Caleb.” He’s our blue-eyed, curly-haired little hippy kid who loves everyone and makes friends everywhere he goes and is… always has something ridiculous to say and just brings, he just brings so much joy, eh, in, into the world that, um, yeah, I, I could not imagine life without him.

Marisa Shadrick:
Which one of the boys has more, like, your personality? I’m curious.

Steve Reiter:
Matthew. Matthew, definitely.

Marisa Shadrick:
Mm-hmm. Gotcha.

Steve Reiter:
E- each, each of them have bits of me, but I think-

Marisa Shadrick:
Mm-hmm.

Steve Reiter:
… Matthew and I totally get each other. We, we speak each other’s language. What, what… I, I really da-

Marisa Shadrick:
So is that a good thing or a bad thing> (laughs) That… You sound like you-

Steve Reiter:
No, it’s, it’s, no, it’s, it’s really a good thing.

Marisa Shadrick:
Okay.

Steve Reiter:
‘Cause, ’cause he, he, he… Matthew and I rarely had any conflict. Matthew and I rarely had any tension between us. Caleb and I were, were the ones that would butt heads-

Marisa Shadrick:
Mm-hmm.

Steve Reiter:
… because of his free spirit and, you know, just hippy kinda let life just kind of happen. And, “Oh, I didn’t get to. Oh, well, I’ll get to it when I get to it,” kind of-

Marisa Shadrick:
Yeah.

Steve Reiter:
… kind of-

Marisa Shadrick:
A free spirit.

Steve Reiter:
Exactly. He really is. And-

Marisa Shadrick:
No real urgency (laughs).

Steve Reiter:
Yeah, yeah.

Marisa Shadrick:
Yep. That’s awesome, that’s awesome the way our kids are so different in personality, right?

Steve Reiter:
Oh, yeah.

Marisa Shadrick:
We just kinda scratch our heads. But, but yeah, unique in their own way, you know? And my daughter’s kind of like that.

Steve Reiter:
Yeah.

Marisa Shadrick:
But when something does need to get done, it does get done-

Steve Reiter:
Yeah.

Marisa Shadrick:
… it’s just the journey to it-

Steve Reiter:
(laughs).

Marisa Shadrick:
… you just wonder if it’s gonna happen, right? (laughs) So anyway.

Steve Reiter:
Yeah.

Marisa Shadrick:
So, um, so tell me a little bit more ’cause your, your story kinda took a turn that you were not expecting.

Steve Reiter:
Yeah.

Marisa Shadrick:
So do you wanna tell us a little bit about that?

Steve Reiter:
Yeah. So, um, in 2014… Actually, 2013, Elizabeth started to deal with what was ultimately a Lupus flare up. The doctors were misdiagnosing it because all the blood markers showed the Lupus was in remission, so they thought it was hormonal, they thought it was this, they thought it was that; they weren’t quite sure what it was. And she reached… She started to lose her appetite and started to waste away. And she ended up wasting away and ended up being bed-ridden for awhile, ended up… Uh, when she went to the hospital in February of 2014, she was 86 pounds, skin and bones. And the, the doctors… We ended up going to the best hospital. We got tired of dealing with here in Colorado Springs, and we just went to the best hospital in the state at the University of Colorado Hospital. And, uh, they were like, “Yeah, even though the Lupus looks like it’s in remission, we’re just gonna treat it like Lupus and just see what happens. And within six hours, she was getting up by herself, going to the bathroom by herself. And, uh, even within a couple days, was able to put on her own socks, which is something-

Marisa Shadrick:
Mm-hmm.

Steve Reiter:
… she hadn’t been able to do in, in awhile, in months, really. But she got better from that so quickly that some undiagnosed pulmonary hypertension raged. So going back to Matthew, Matthew’s birth and that, that transfusion and this emergency C-section, literally within a day or two, she started complaining of chest pain. And the doctors always said, “That’s just the Lupus, that’s just the Lupus, that’s just the Lupus.” And they did a scan one time and saw that her paracardial sack, the sack around her heart was inflamed, and so they said, “That’s what’s causing it.” Nothing else.
Well, her heart went from perfect in March of 2014 to significantly enlarged and failing congestively in November of 2014. And when she ended up get… being hospitalized back and UCH, um, the doctors came to me and said, “Steve, this is an end-of-life kind of situation,” meaning that the heart failure’s so bad, she may not make it out.

Marisa Shadrick:
Mm-hmm.

Steve Reiter:
And when she was officially diagnosed with that pulmonary hypertension, the head of pulmonology came to me, and he said, “Steve, I don’t wanna be the bearer of bad news, but there’s a real possibility your wife’s not gonna be around to see your youngest graduate high school.” Caleb was eight at the time. So he’s basically saying in the next 10 years, she, she could be gone because, one, she had a Hickman line now going into her chest that was pumping in meds 24/7, and two, the meds eventually stopped working. The best medicines that they have eventually stopped working.
And for those that don’t know what pulmonary hypertension is, basically your, your lungs aren’t absorbing the amount of blood that the heart is trying to push in to oxygenate the blood. And so that back pressure causes the right side of your heart to enlarge, and eventually it just fails. And so what the meds were doing is they were opening up those blood vessels in her lungs to allow them to… to allow the, the, the normal amount of blood flow to go through.

Marisa Shadrick:
Mm-hmm.

Steve Reiter:
And so I made it my mission to really dig into not only my health as I was recovering from… as I had recovered from my burnout when-

Marisa Shadrick:
Mm-hmm.

Steve Reiter:
… I left Focus on Our Family Talk in 2012, but now it was also listening to these cutting edge health podcasts and biohacker podcasts-

Marisa Shadrick:
Right.

Steve Reiter:
… just in case I could hear some kind of breakthrough in autoimmune, pulmonary hypertension and those kinds of things-

Marisa Shadrick:
Mm-hmm.

Steve Reiter:
… because I later watched a documentary called How to Survive a Plague. And it was on Amazon Prime at the time. It’s currently on HBO Max. And it’s all about the AIDS epidemic in the ’80s and what was going on in the gay community.

Marisa Shadrick:
Mm-hmm.

Steve Reiter:
And it had lots of home video footage of these, of these town halls and the, and, you know the protests that… for trying to get more funding into AIDS research and what was all going on during that time. And you would watch these leaders die, ’87, ’88, ’89, ’90, ’91, ’92. And it was ’92, ’93, ’95, somewhere around there that that, that big breakthrough, that magic cocktail-

Marisa Shadrick:
Mm-hmm.

Steve Reiter:
… of drugs were… was settled on to try and treat it, and all of a sudden, they cut to modern times and all these leaders, some of them who were on their death beds-

Marisa Shadrick:
Mm-hmm.

Steve Reiter:
… in the early ’90s were around today. And I knew it was just a matter of keeping Elizabeth healthy long enough to be able to catch that breakthrough-

Marisa Shadrick:
Right.

Steve Reiter:
… for us to be able to see a full and productive life outta her.

Marisa Shadrick:
Mm-hmm.

Steve Reiter:
And so that was my goal. And when COVID happened, we knew, because she had a lung condition, that COVID could be really serious for her.

Marisa Shadrick:
Mm-hmm.

Steve Reiter:
And so we locked down hard where friends were delivering groceries and dropping stuff off. And I was rarely leaving the house, and if I was, I was making sure I was masked at the grocery store and trying to go during a time where there were minimal people around, avoiding people, doing my very best to try and make sure that I wasn’t bringing COVID home. But she thought she had COVID right at the very beginning.

Marisa Shadrick:
Interesting.

Steve Reiter:
A friend of hers hus was exhibiting COVID symptoms. Eli- Elizabeth started exhibiting COVID symptoms, and her husband, her, her friend’s husband worked for the Department of Defense, did a ton of traveling, and so it kinda made sense that he mighta got it, given it to Marissa, who then gave it to Elizabeth. And so she got tested; it was negative. But because there were so many false negatives and there was so much-

Marisa Shadrick:
Yeah.

Steve Reiter:
… unknown about COVID in March of 2020 that they still thought it was COVID, so they were treating her virtually. And unfortunately, you can’t diagnose pneumonia or a blood infection over a virtual visit.

Marisa Shadrick:
Yeah.

Steve Reiter:
And so on April 29th, uh, she woke up at about 3:00 in the morning throwing up, not even able to keep a sip of Gatorade down.

Marisa Shadrick:
Mm-hmm.

Steve Reiter:
And after about two and a half hours of that, we knew it was time for her, that she had to go to the hospital. And she would’ve gone to the hospital sooner had they been allowing visitors in. She didn’t wanna be alone.

Marisa Shadrick:
Yeah.

Steve Reiter:
She didn’t want to be isolated like that. And so she waited until it was probably too late.

Marisa Shadrick:
Mm-hmm.

Steve Reiter:
If she had gone in earlier, they woulda been able to treat it much more efficiently, and she woulda come home, probably.

Marisa Shadrick:
Mm-hmm.

Steve Reiter:
But because she went in so late, um, the recovery was a lot slower and a lot longer. And, um, on Mother’s Day weekend, I was starting to… I was working really hard to try and get into the hospital by try… by getting some media attention around the state-

Marisa Shadrick:
Mm-hmm.

Steve Reiter:
… about people dying alone, about people being forced to recover alone in the hospital.

Marisa Shadrick:
Right.

Steve Reiter:
And so my mom was coming out to help with the boys so that way I could focus even more on that fight to try and get into the hospital and raise awareness about people dying alone.

Marisa Shadrick:
Mm-hmm.

Steve Reiter:
And, um, I… We were driving right by the hospital, and I thought what’s the least harmful thing I could do? Do I drive by and drive back out to Denver International Airport and back and not acknowledge? She knows I’m gonna be driving right by it. Or do I take the boys up and go up a couple hours early and grab euros from our favorite euro place and sit outside the hospital and FaceTime over dinner and then wave to her from the car?

Marisa Shadrick:
Mm-hmm.

Steve Reiter:
And we did that. And at the end of the call, she got super emotional, and every time she got emotional, her health would dip.

Marisa Shadrick:
Mm-hmm.

Steve Reiter:
And that night, at about 2:00 in the morning, I got a call, “Your wife is bleeding in one of her lungs. We’re moving, moving her into the ICU. Don’t come up.” Got a call a couple hours later, “We think we’ve isolated it. It’s a couple small arteries. We’re cauterizing them. We’ve given her coagulants. Don’t come up.” We had a call on Mother’s Day. We talked on Saturday, obviously, but then on Sun, on Sunday, we had a call, and I was not… She was someone that never got depressed, but this day, she was depressed, really depressed about being in the hospital alone on Mother’s Day. And I dipped into my bag of tricks of almost 20 years with her of stuff to try and get her to smile, and it never worked.

Marisa Shadrick:
Mm-hmm.

Steve Reiter:
And our conversation turned to what if this is the one you don’t come home from?

Marisa Shadrick:
Mm-hmm. How frustrating to not be there.

Steve Reiter:
Yeah, but that’s, that’s, that’s not the place that you should have those kinds of conversations, Marisa.

Marisa Shadrick:
Yeah.

Steve Reiter:
It’s not.

Marisa Shadrick:
No.

Steve Reiter:
It should be in person. I mean-

Marisa Shadrick:
Yeah.

Steve Reiter:
… we, we know, we all know, intuitively know. And the studies bear it out that study after study shows that having a loved one aids in the healing process.

Marisa Shadrick:
Yes.

Steve Reiter:
And conversely, loneliness and isolate increase mortality.

Marisa Shadrick:
Mm-hmm.

Steve Reiter:
One study said that the most lonely and isolated elderly patients are 2.5 times more likely to die prematurely than their-

Marisa Shadrick:
Mm-hmm.

Steve Reiter:
… most socially connected peers.

Marisa Shadrick:
Right.

Steve Reiter:
And another study said that women going through breast cancer treatment that have someone there to go through it with them-

Marisa Shadrick:
Yeah.

Steve Reiter:
… and those that didn’t, those that didn’t were five times more likely to die prematurely.

Marisa Shadrick:
Yeah, you can’t strip away emotional support, you just can’t, and especially from loved ones. It’s… You know, I, I have not experienced something to that degree, but I know when we moved to California last summer, uh, my husband was, you know, U-Haul and packing everything. He wasn’t feeling very well, but he had to go to Costco. And he went with my granddaughter, and he dropped to the floor. And my granddaughter, as soon as she said, “Pop, are you okay?” He was up again. And he goes, “Oh, maybe I just didn’t drink enough water.” Well, that day, we went to a restaurant, and he said, “You know, I’m still not feeling very good.” I said, “Lemme me see your…” ’cause I got him one of those watches that says everything. And so I looked, and I go, “Your heart rate, it’s, like, nonexistent.” He goes, “I think it’s broken, my watch.” And I said, “Here, put my Fitbit on.” And I’m going, “You’re going to the hospital.” And his heart rate was so low, it was about ready to stop. I mean, I don’t know how he was even walking.
And, um, they immediately… They didn’t even wait to do all of the intake stuff, they just immediately took him in, and they had me, you know, fill out all the forms and everything. And he, he needed a pacemaker. And, um, unfortunately, I couldn’t go in the hospital. And I… That was a surprise to me ’cause in Nevada, we… you could. If somebody was in the hospital, you can go in. And then would not let me in. And they said, “No, you need to get a COVID test.” And I said, “Okay, where do I go? Is there a place here?” And he goes, “No, there’s a few of them…” And of course it was closed. I had to go to the next day, try to find where this was. It was on… in some garage structure that sold Kias. And it was only good for one day, and you would only be allowed to, uh, visit for one hour. And so…
But I remember that first night when I couldn’t get in there, I mean, I was FaceTiming. I was in tears, I was just in tears ’cause I didn’t know what was going on, right?

Steve Reiter:
Yeah.

Marisa Shadrick:
I didn’t know yet what was going on. And that was just a small taste.

Steve Reiter:
Yeah.

Marisa Shadrick:
You know? And I just remember trembling and crying hysterically ’cause I wanted to be in there with him. And I just can’t even imagine being forced to be separated like that. It’s just wrong, it’s just wrong.

Steve Reiter:
The, the, the problem… I mean, the, the problem that I have seen from hospitals… When they started letting visitors in in the spring of 2020, they would allow one visitor for one hour. And I have a friend whose elderly aunt was up in the hospital in Greeley, and her cousin, the daughter, is a nurse.

Marisa Shadrick:
Mm-hmm.

Steve Reiter:
And she would go in for her one hour, and she’d be like, “My mom’s clearly starting to develop bed sores, she’s dehydrated,” this, that and the other.

Marisa Shadrick:
Mm-hmm.

Steve Reiter:
She would go back in the next day; the bed sores were getting worse.

Marisa Shadrick:
Mm-hmm.

Steve Reiter:
She’s still dehydrated, this, that and the other. Not enough can be done during that one hour that people are… that, that they would be let in. And we were expecting way too much. We were… The nurses were being asked to provide and more emotional support and more, you know… be a little bit more watchful. And when you’re overworked, overstressed-

Marisa Shadrick:
Exactly.

Steve Reiter:
… you don’t have that capacity.

Marisa Shadrick:
No. And it’s not their fault.

Steve Reiter:
You don’t have that emotional capacity.

Marisa Shadrick:
Yeah.

Steve Reiter:
And then you tack on the emotional trauma.

Marisa Shadrick:
Mm-hmm.

Steve Reiter:
And it is trauma-

Marisa Shadrick:
It is.

Steve Reiter:
… of a nurse holding up an iPad while someone was dying. I have heard from so many nurses that have left the hospital environment because they were so traumatized from holding up an iPad while someone was dying.

Marisa Shadrick:
Mm-hmm.

Steve Reiter:
It’s, it, it, it’s, it’s something that… It’s wrong.

Marisa Shadrick:
Yeah.

Steve Reiter:
It’s morally wrong. And I’ve never asked. Never once have I ever asked for hospitals to open up and let it be business as normal-

Marisa Shadrick:
Mm-hmm.

Steve Reiter:
… business as usual when it comes to visitation in the middle of the COVID pandemic or in the middle of whatever, the next disease dujour that the media likes to promote and is gonna be the thing that destroys civilization-

Marisa Shadrick:
Mm-hmm.

Steve Reiter:
… and, and made it sound like SARS was gonna do that, they made it sound like MERS was gonna do that or Swine Flu-

Marisa Shadrick:
Oh, yeah.

Steve Reiter:
… of Bird Flu or-

Marisa Shadrick:
Mm-hmm.

Steve Reiter:
… Ebola.

Marisa Shadrick:
And try to instigate fear immediately. You know?

Steve Reiter:
Eh… A- all I’ve ever asked for is one screened loved one advocate caregiver per day with no time limits-

Marisa Shadrick:
Mm-hmm.

Steve Reiter:
… or at the very least, reasonable time limits in that if visiting hours from 8:00 to 8:00, I could get there at 8:00, and I gotta leave at 8:00.

Marisa Shadrick:
Mm-hmm.

Steve Reiter:
In reality, I think if I’m stay… If, if, I’m there in the hospital for 12 hours, I should be allowed to sleep there like I used to when Elizabeth was in for the five weeks between those two hospital stays in 2014.

Marisa Shadrick:
Right.

Steve Reiter:
I’d be in there two or three days, her mom would be in there one or two. And we’d do this rotation. And we’d bring friends over, and we’d bring the boys in, and we’d just shower her with love and cast a vision for our future and rub her feet and rub her shoulders and let her know that we, we were expecting her to come home and give her that encouragement that she needed to keep her spirits up. And unfortunately, that didn’t happen this time, and the last week in a half of my wife’s life. The last week and a half, she complained of lower back pain, and I kept telling her, “Babe, as soon as I get in there, I’m gonna rub your lower back. I’m gonna bring in my massage gun. I’m gonna take care of you. I’ll bring some, you know, some Biofreeze or whatever kind of… Bengay, whatever kind of-

Marisa Shadrick:
Mm-hmm.

Steve Reiter:
“… ointment to kinda help loosen those muscles up. I’m gonna take care of you.” Marisa, the autopsy showed that it was undiagnosed kidney stones.

Marisa Shadrick:
Oh, no.

Steve Reiter:
If I had been in there-

Marisa Shadrick:
Yeah.

Steve Reiter:
… I woulda been able to rub her back and say, “Hey, listen, you know, it’s not getting better. What could this be?”

Marisa Shadrick:
Mm-hmm.

Steve Reiter:
And during that time, they may have been addressed and the pain may have been gone because the kidney stones woulda been addressed.

Marisa Shadrick:
Mm-hmm.

Steve Reiter:
But it wasn’t because you were asking an overworked, overstaffed… uh, understaffed and overworked and overstressed-

Marisa Shadrick:
Yeah.

Steve Reiter:
… staff-

Marisa Shadrick:
Exactly.

Steve Reiter:
… to do things that they normally didn’t do.

Marisa Shadrick:
Right. Right. So, um, yeah, and I think loved ones too, I mean, when someone’s sick, they need an advocate, they need someone that knows them-

Steve Reiter:
Yeah.

Marisa Shadrick:
… that knows their history.

Steve Reiter:
Yeah.

Marisa Shadrick:
Because they see immediately the things that need to be taken care of, the physicians, and they’re taking care of them that way. But you know with a history, you know what’s gone on in the past, so they need an advocate. And I know when I took care of my dad when he had dementia, I was there a lot with him because he needed an advocate. I knew everything about him and things that the chart won’t necessarily show that would-

Steve Reiter:
Exactly.

Marisa Shadrick:
… even make it easier for the nurses.=

Steve Reiter:
Exactly.

Marisa Shadrick:
… as well. So, um, so yeah, I totally get that. So, um, this was indeed trauma. And I’m so sorry that you-

Steve Reiter:
Thank you.

Marisa Shadrick:
… went through all of this in your family. Um, what has come out of all of this? What have you learned?

Steve Reiter:
Yeah.

Marisa Shadrick:
What, what has come from this?

Steve Reiter:
So what’s come from this is I created a nonprofit called The NEVER Alone Project. The goal of The NEVER Alone Project is to ultimately see legislative change by mobilizing a community to raise awareness about this issue.

Marisa Shadrick:
Mm-hmm.

Steve Reiter:
We ultimately wanna see a patient’s right to, one, one… That’s all I’m asking for, one screened loved one advocate caregiver.

Marisa Shadrick:
Mm-hmm.

Steve Reiter:
And, um, we’ve got some legislation now here in Colorado. We have legislation in a number of states. Unfortunately, even in a state that has the best legislation in Arkansas, hospitals are still locking people out, at least the last time I talked to representative Julie Mayberry who ran that legislation, uh, because people don’t know about it.

Marisa Shadrick:
Mm-hmm.

Steve Reiter:
And so because they don’t know about it, they don’t know that they have this right. And once they… And often if they do know, they’re afraid to push back because they’re afraid their quality of care is going to be impacted. They’re afraid that, you know, the staff will get resentful and take less better care of their, of their loved one. And so it, it… There, there needs to be a federal, federal legislation that protects a patient’s right-

Marisa Shadrick:
Mm-hmm.

Steve Reiter:
… to one screened loved one per day.

Marisa Shadrick:
Absolutely. That’s great. That’s awesome. So, um, how can our listeners… Is there a way that they can help or learn more about this?

Steve Reiter:
Yeah, so you can learn more by going to neveraloneproject.org.

Marisa Shadrick:
Okay.

Steve Reiter:
neveraloneproject.org. And (laughs), and Marisa, this is a crazy God story you’re gonna love. So I… Whe- when, when I first set it up, neveraloneproject.org, someone was squatting on it. And I’m like, right now, I don’t wanna spend the money to get it. And so I got neveralonepandemic.org. And that was the website for, for a long time. And we’re in the process of starting to get that moved over to the new URL. But I was on a call with our mutual friend, Mike Kim-

Marisa Shadrick:
Yes.

Steve Reiter:
… a few weeks ago, and we were talking about he was looking over and giving me some tips about the websites. And he’s helping me redesign the NEVER Alone website. And he was like, “Do… Is neveraloneproject.org available?” He’s like, “Pandemic’s fine, but really, you should try and get neveraloneproject-

Marisa Shadrick:
Yeah.

Steve Reiter:
“… if that’s available.” And I said, “yeah, someone’s squatting on it. They want $1,500, but I’ve got other things I need to spend money on before I go splurge on that.”

Marisa Shadrick:
Right.

Steve Reiter:
And he was like, “All right, I’m gonna front the money. You buy it today, and I’m gonna raise it from the rest of our Mastermind.” And I was like, “Oh, oh.” He’s like, “Everybody gonna pitch in, like, $125.

Marisa Shadrick:
(laughs).

Steve Reiter:
“We’ll cover it. We’ll cover it for you. You get that today.”

Marisa Shadrick:
That’s awesome.

Steve Reiter:
Okay, so I find the email, I find the email, I click on it to, to purchase, and it’s not available. And my heart sank. I was like, “Oh no, someone else has it and now they want $10,000 versus $1,000 to $1,500 or another organization called The Never Alone Project just got ahold of it, and so I’m completely outta luck.” And my heart sank. So I went to whois.com to see who, who owned it, see who, who it was registered to and it was available.

Marisa Shadrick:
Oh, wow.

Steve Reiter:
And I was like, “What? Are you kidding me?” So immediately, I got and I put that in my Google domains cart, and in that part where they upsell you… I mean, do, do, do you want .net, do you want-

Marisa Shadrick:
Yeah.

Steve Reiter:
… .us and .biz and dot whatever?” .consulting and .media. .com was available too, neveraloneproject.com was available as well.

Marisa Shadrick:
Oh my goodness.

Steve Reiter:
It’s a… I, I posted that on LinkedIn, and I have friends that they buy domains for their, their marketers, and they buy domains on a regular basis. And they said, “Steve, this never happens.”

Marisa Shadrick:
Mm-mm. No.

Steve Reiter:
Never happens. And so clearly, there’s… Like, God’s got some kinda wind behind this now-

Marisa Shadrick:
Yeah.

Steve Reiter:
… because, um, because, uh, honestly, up until this point, I haven’t been able to really devote a whole lot of time to it.

Marisa Shadrick:
Mm-hmm.

Steve Reiter:
I’m in the process right now of working with my staff, with my audio production business. Uh, Mike Michalowicz wrote a book called Clockwork. It’s about systematizing-

Marisa Shadrick:
Mm-hmm.

Steve Reiter:
… your, your, your business and-

Marisa Shadrick:
Yeah.

Steve Reiter:
… and handing more stuff off so you can take four weeks off, never check email once and the business still goes on and works just fine. So I’ve been starting to work on… work with that on my staff. And then I had a conversation with my longest running clients, Dr. Juli Slattery. Used to work with her at Focus. She has a, a ministry called Authentic Intimacy and a great podcast called Java with Juli. You’d love Juli, you’d love Juli. She’s an amazing human being; a rock-

Marisa Shadrick:
Oh.

Steve Reiter:
… rockstar in the making. And, uh, um, I had a conversation with Juli, and I was kind of explaining that, “Hey, every time I tell this story, it knocks me sideways. Sometimes it knocks me out for brain fog and just irritable, emotional, sometimes… at least at first, it was, like, for a week afterwards.” And she was like, “Steve, you did the grief counseling, that was amazing, but you have trauma. You have clear-

Marisa Shadrick:
Yeah.

Steve Reiter:
“… PTSD symptoms and issues coming up from, from this issue.

Marisa Shadrick:
Mm-hmm.

Steve Reiter:
“You need to get that… You need to see a trauma counselor, ’cause grief counseling and trauma counseling are two different things.” Huh, that totally makes sense.

Marisa Shadrick:
Mm-hmm.

Steve Reiter:
And so I started this journey to, to address that more, and it just, it really feels like things are just really kinda starting to swirl and come into-

Marisa Shadrick:
Yeah.

Steve Reiter:
… place for-

Marisa Shadrick:
Come together.

Steve Reiter:
… for, for, for me to really start to devote way more time and effort into this because… I mean, uh, one of my board members started working part-time for the United Way, and she said she gets calls all the time of, of someone who goes into the hospital with COVID, and they’re not allowed in.

Marisa Shadrick:
Yeah.

Steve Reiter:
No visitors whatsoever for X-amount of-

Marisa Shadrick:
Yeah.

Steve Reiter:
Whatever the hospital determines is their quarantine days. They changed it from 10 to five most hospitals, but even that sometimes is still 10 or more. And so it’s still going on, it’s still a problem. And, uh-

Marisa Shadrick:
Mm-hmm.

Steve Reiter:
… we, we need to get back to the way it was.

Marisa Shadrick:
Yeah, absolutely. Well, I just thank you for the efforts that you’re doing and all the work. Um, this is something that’s gonna benefit so many people. I’ll make sure to put the contact information, the URL-

Steve Reiter:
Thank you.

Marisa Shadrick:
… and everything in the show notes.

Steve Reiter:
Thank you.

Marisa Shadrick:
Um, any, any last words of encouragement for those that are listening? Because sometimes, you know, entrepreneurship can be complicated and complex, you know, but personal life can get complex as well. Any last words to encourage entrepreneurs that are maybe, maybe not the same scenario but struggling between between the two?

Steve Reiter:
Mm-hmm.

Marisa Shadrick:
Any, anything that you can share.

Steve Reiter:
Take care of your health, take care of your health. Not just your physical health. And physical health is very important; don’t discount. Don’t, don’t get me wrong; physical health is very important because the healthier, the better nutrients you have going through your body, the better it’s working, the more clearly you can think and the more clearly you can, uh, balance life, really.

Marisa Shadrick:
Mm-hmm.

Steve Reiter:
But also be sure to take care of your mental health-

Marisa Shadrick:
Mm-hmm.

Steve Reiter:
… as well as your emotional and spiritual health. You gotta take care of your heart, take care of your head, and take care of this whole body because, um, if it’s working right, life just seems to… Troubles don’t seem to hit me as hard.

Marisa Shadrick:
Yeah. Yeah.

Steve Reiter:
Whe- when, when a curve, when a curve ball hits, it gets thrown, it, it doesn’t knock me sideways. I don’t fall back-

Marisa Shadrick:
Right.

Steve Reiter:
… and think it’s going for my head. Instead, I stay in there and I wait for that ball to curve and then try and take it outta the yard.

Marisa Shadrick:
Mm-hmm. And it’s not selfish either to take time for yourself.

Steve Reiter:
No. No.

Marisa Shadrick:
To take care of yourself. ‘Cause sometimes people think it’s selfish. I can’t really think about myself right now ’cause I have other people to think about. And… Yeah.

Steve Reiter:
Th- th- this, this altruistic, you know, love your neighbor idea throughout the Christian faith of loving-

Marisa Shadrick:
Mm-hmm.

Steve Reiter:
… others… Do unto others, love others, love everyone, that’s great, but Jesus said the two greatest commandments in the Bible are love the Lord, your God, with all your heart, soul, mind, and strength-

Marisa Shadrick:
Mm-hmm.

Steve Reiter:
… and love your neighbor as yourself.

Marisa Shadrick:
Hmm.

Steve Reiter:
Well, in that, I’ve, I’ve never heard a pastor once say, “Do you love yourself? Do you really love yourself?

Marisa Shadrick:
Yeah.

Steve Reiter:
“Are you really taking care of yourself?” Because if you’re not taking care of yourself… And I had this conversation with Elizabeth one time.

Marisa Shadrick:
Mm-hmm.

Steve Reiter:
I, I said, “I’m, I’m going on this hike today because I need to recharge my battery so that way when I come home, I’m more emotionally available for you guys and I’m much more-

Marisa Shadrick:
Yeah.

Steve Reiter:
“… present with you guys.” The… We need to be carving out time to take care of ourselves, so that way, out of that overflow and that abundance, it’s way easier to take care of our families and take care of our employees or our contractors, our business, those around us, our friends, our family.

Marisa Shadrick:
Absolutely. I couldn’t agree more.

Steve Reiter:
The… Those, those kinds of things, those kinds of things. And so, and so my, my suggestion is t- to everyone take care of your body, take care of your mind, and be sure to take care of your hearts.

Marisa Shadrick:
Yes.

Steve Reiter:
Ke-

Marisa Shadrick:
You have permission to take care of yourself (laughs).

Steve Reiter:
Yeah.

Marisa Shadrick:
For sure. Steve, my friend, thank you so much. I just really appreciate you just being so candid and authentic and sharing your story.

Steve Reiter:
Thank you, Marisa.

Marisa Shadrick:
I know it’s probably still difficult to do that, but you’re doing it for the sake of others. And I’m glad that you’re getting some help too so you can maintain your health-

Steve Reiter:
Yeah.

Marisa Shadrick:
… both physically, mentally, spiritually. Thank you so much. I really appreciate it.

Steve Reiter:
Thank you. Thank you, Marisa.

Marisa Shadrick:
All righty, all righty. Take care, everyone. Bye-bye.

 

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